1. |
The Seamen Parade
01:33
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Hooray, it’s the march of the seamen parade
A day so very merry, fun, and gay
The captain, the steward, and the coxswain
All say, “Hey, it’s the seamen parade”
Tonight the booty’s in ample supply
The chest has treasure dripping from the sides
The overflowing motherlode’s on every eye
Aye-aye, marching for pirate pride
We’ll drink till we get good and wet
Till every one of us aches for the head
From the throbbing bilge to the poop deck
March those fine seamen
So how could any matey be down?
With such a lovely bounty that we found
If you see a single bloody lad wearing a frown
Then blow the man down
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2. |
Pirate
02:31
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I am a third-generation pirate
Dad and gramps, that’s what they thought I’d be
But I’ve been on this boat so long
And the older I get I know it’s not the gig for me
Now I know why I don’t fit in
Looking at the scoundrels all around me
My chiseled face and perfect skin
Stand out in this sea of ugly
I am a gorgeous pirate
The only treasure here is my eyes
This job of robbery, I don’t desire it
The Dutchmen wishes he looked so fly
The open sea’s not meant for the really handsome
Case in point: those tacky wooden legs
Your fashion sense is with Davey Jones, that patch is gross
I volunteer to go walk the plank
Parrots suck, can we get a dog?
Avast ye lads, those legs need waxing
Sagging pants will earn you a flog
No one wants to see your Kraken
I am a stunning pirate
What dumb blind dude taught you to groom?
This will for pillaging, I don’t admire it
Take some tips from Orlando Bloom
I am a dashing pirate
The tricorn’s so 1662
This lust for plundering, I say retire it
I bet a mirror would change Roger’s mood
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3. |
Leviathan
01:57
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Never would’ve left if I had known how it’d turn out
A colossal wreck, watching all my comrades drown
The last thing that I saw ‘fore I was swallowed whole
A giant pulsing eyeball and a big black hole
Trying not to think about what lies below
Terrified of where it goes
Praying I dissolve before I get to know
There were serpents on the map
We probably should’ve noticed that
Suddenly a figment rose
Towering above the boat
Aspidochelone, Tiamat, Yacumama
Hydra, Lusca, Kraken, Nessie and Bakunawa
If I could go back again and press redo
I’d tell them what awaited in the deadly blue
A vortex in the sea that salivates for you
Banging on its plate for food
Satiated only when it grabs ahold and chews
Demons in the undertow
I recommend that you stay home
Unless you find the notion of
Living in a stomach fun
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4. |
Alien Ocean
02:53
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Something had died and its shell floated by at the pier
And like a headphone made of bone, I put it to my ear
The ocean was played in an audio wave like some otherworldly, terrible song
But then later at night, back at home, I retried and I heard it still when the ocean was gone
As it called to me, somehow I knew it was not from this galaxy
Alien Ocean, a wave that could drown
Alien Ocean, hear the sound
Alien Ocean, alarmingly loud
Panicked and stunned, had to warn every one of the shell
They called me insane, that’s okay, I can save Earth myself
Now I’m watching my back, need a plan of attack, if you think I’ll go quietly then think again
So just watch what you say near a lake or a bay, cause those neon monsters are all listening in
Telepathically, shining their probes for the day that they land for me
Alien Ocean, a wave that could drown
Alien Ocean, hear the sound
Alien Ocean, alarmingly loud
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5. |
The Shore
02:02
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I was floating alone on a boat that slowly drifted
For a week until the thing sank
I brushed on the shore, I was hungry and sore
The hundreds of rocks in a line mark the days
As I sit on the bank where I sank like Tom Hanks
I’m making signals for a passing ship
It’s hard to adapt when you know Google maps
Has an aerial view if somebody would click
Just out of sight there’s a light, very bright
Is it the savior I’ve been praying for?
I frantically scream as it flies over me
I fall in the sand, stranded here on the shore
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6. |
Waterpark Inside Me
02:57
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They told us we're basically water
Floating round in some soft fleshy junk
So I hope that the microbes that slide down my veins brought trunks
Tiny people need not pay admission
Cause my stomach's a wave pool for free
As they swim in my personal ocean, they can't tell it's me
I'm the guy behind the sea, Poseidon in reality
Dive in the lake I spawned
That's streaming beneath me eternally
Try my inner pond
If god was a lifeguard, it'd be me
Though I'm dry, there's a waterpark inside me
Gallons flow through the shell of your body
Splash Mountain's right under your skin
Moving levers to operate rides for the tide we hide within
Feel the grains of the sand in your fingers
Though statistics say it's mostly puke
On a beach that is oddly located within the walls we grew
A bottle that is labeled 'you' contains a place of fabled blue
Dive in the lake I spawned
That's streaming beneath me eternally
Try my inner pond
If god was a lifeguard, it'd be me
Though I'm dry, there's a waterpark inside me
Though I'm dry, there's a waterpark inside me
Though I'm dry, there's a waterpark inside me
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7. |
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Skintight speedo in a lawn chair
Gut is spilling out across his lap
Pinching asses as they pass him
All his body hair is scaring away a tan
Skeevy dude at the motel pool
Staring as the girls swim
He’s creeping everyone out
From the wee hours to sundown
Flips flops and socks will hide the gout on him
Picks his nose and sucks the finger
Drooling as he snores to his wet dream
All the kids are scared to go near him
And his comb-over slicked back with pounds of grease
Skeevy dude at the motel pool
Surrounded by a sea of cans
Fat, stupid, drunk and lazy
Gets in the pool occasionally
Then it gets warm in the place he swam
Skeevy dude at the motel pool
How much Pabst can one man swill?
With every girl he’s flirting
As if he thinks it’s working
When he starts burping Margaritaville
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8. |
Taking the Kid Out
03:10
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Like my old man did
Taking the kid out to fish
Hold them when they’re young
Then you blink and they’ve grown up
Doctor called yesterday
Sank so low as he spoke
Better late than never to bond on the boat
Blazing morning sun
Kiddo’s coughing up a lung
Innocent and brave
I wish I could say the same
Shaking fists push him in
Splashes shaking the lake
Then it’s still, and I paddle away
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9. |
Goldfish
02:12
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Oh hey, motherfucker. I’m a goldfish
Our attention span ain’t short at all
We just think that you’re all boring as shit
Oh hey, motherfucker. I’m a goldfish
Rad ass gangster swimming round with his dope fins
Tricked out visage with his wicked freaking gold skin
I ‘m ‘a fuck your mom
Oh hey, stupid fucker. I’m a goldfish
All you Homo sapiens think you’re the shit
Just press your lips to the glass, so you can kiss my dick
Oh hey, oxy sucker. I’m a goldfish.
Chilling on the Billboard cause this single is a smash hit
Go on tour provided there’s a freshwater tank equipped
I’m ‘a fuck your mom
I know this song’s going gold like me
Y’all are jealous as hell, you can’t beat this MC
MC Cyprinidae
Oh hey, fucker. Wanna sleep with the fishes?
Bust a carp in your arse and leave you needing sixty stiches
Wearing grills in my gills, po-po up in my business
I’m ‘a fuck your mom
Oh hey, fleshy fucker. I’m a goldfish
Gangster ass figger wrecking shit like a rich pimp
Underwater castle with the bitches is where I live
I’m ‘a fuck your mom in my sweet aquarium
Don’t flush me down the John (dead)
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10. |
Flying
02:18
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When you're on the sea and it's raining outside
You can't tell if you're sailing or flying
Cause just for a second the sky
Is symmetrically wet with the tide
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11. |
Underwater Ghost
02:51
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Underwater ghost
He died beneath the tide and stayed there
Levitates and floats
Figments don’t get fishies too scared
Trapped in dampened clothes
Searching for the coast
Looking up at boats
Lovely place to die: in the ocean
Underwater ghost
The waves became his grave and new digs
Sharks have lost all hope
When they bite their teeth go through him
Lifeless mass of bones
Body bends and bloats
Just a bit morose
Lovely place to die in the ocean
Buried here in the beach in a sandcasket
Where the incoming tide will hide the tears
Digging in like a leach, sinking back in
Slipping deeper inside, he disappears
Sunken spirit flows
Wrinkly skin is gross
Water up his nose
Lovely place to die in the ocean
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12. |
Merica
02:20
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From the sea we crawled onto the sand
The water became too toxic to take
From the beach the freaked out people ran
Clawing our way to land
All this time they thought we were a myth
They couldn’t deal with learning we’re real
All the mutant fish with bluish skin
Don’t have a right to exist
What you staring at dude?
Yeah, it’s a tail, don’t be rude
Except for the gills I am just like you
A million marchers hold up picket signs
They tell us to go way back down below
We’re stealing all the jobs as scuba guides
And that they cannot abide
Swim in separate pools
Send our kids to separate schools
Refugees from a sea that you helped pollute
Scared to death that there are more
Put a border on the shore
Just to be safe let’s nuke the ocean floor
Abomination of god
Pass a dozen fearful laws
But we put the ‘mer’ in America
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13. |
Blue Skin
02:26
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Blue skin
Tail replaced the legs and gained translucence
A mutant blue skin
We suddenly crash with those distracting sirens singing
Scattered bits of ship are all that’s left
In slow motion we sank, watched the sky as it shrank
Garbled screams were drowning beneath waves
Became a new species, exchanging hue
Blue skin
Tail replaced the legs and gained translucence
A mutant blue skin
They’ll never believe that we can breathe beneath the water
Something drunken sailors swear they saw
But if you’re sinking down, freaking out as you drown
Worst case is you’re moving into town
Then someday soon, watch your shade turn into
Blue skin
Tail replaced the legs and gained translucence
A mutant blue skin
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14. |
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Grundelschnük
Written in a book, species long extinct
Grundelschnük
Floating by the brook, eyes of laser beam
All the etchings would appear to show a tiny, cute, chubby scamp
Bringing false security to its unsuspecting midday snack
He’s a cuddly little monster that long ago haunted the beach
Poison in its fang will paralyze its prey alive while it eats
Ravaging the ocean vessels, puncturing hulls
Scouring an empty shore with lost sailor sculls
The more that I learn of this ancient scourge
The more that a chill swallows me
It can be small or ten stories tall
Grundelschnük, the plague of the sea
Grundelschnük
Tongue like a hook, fur with scales beneath
Grundelschnük
Floating by the brook, staring at me in all my dreams
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15. |
Davey's Sunken Hell
03:11
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Pass the flagon here, a bit of rum would do me well
Aye, we’re going down straight to Davey’s sunken hell
Sing a shanty fair, and we will swill away the grog
Salt is in the air, and it’s a jolly dying song
Ho ye scurvy dog, put away the rosary and sing along
For we’re all of us born to feed fish
To die by the cutlass or die with the ship
Lads weigh the anchor to make it go quick
As I get good and pissed off me peg
Join me on the deck. Ah, the sea, she’s growing tall
Curse the bloody gods who’d have us all be keelhauled
Hoist another cup, cause I’ve a thirst that needs a quench
Keep the hatches up, for it’s to hell we’re being sent
Boys, we’re getting drenched, bottoms up till bottom out, and sing again
For we’re all of us born to feed fish
To die by the cutlass or die with the ship
Lads weigh the anchor to make it go quick
As I get good and pissed off me peg
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16. |
Wet All Over
03:00
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