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Former Spine

by Smashy Claw

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Bolonium
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Bolonium CHOMPCHOMPCHOMP !!! Is just Classic Smashy Claw I still have my guillotine action figure lol. Favorite track: CHOMPCHOMPCHOMP.
Insane Ian
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Insane Ian Shades of TMBG meets JoCo. If you like your song subject matter of anthropomorphized guillotines, brothers of pi, or tumors, you'll love this albums. Great tunes, awesome harmonies, and just fun times. The beginnings of rock stardom. Favorite track: Deadbeat Decimal.
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1.
Future Tense 02:59
I get up, I brush my teeth That’s more than I do on other days I think of all my dreams They seem so distant to me I procrastinate, assassinate my fate I feel like it's time, my life should start right now But I don’t know if I can do it I sit and stare at all these sheets Of paper with half written songs inscribed A hypocrite’s advice Try not to waste your life Blink for one second, it’ll pass you by As I blink, I think there's so much left for me Am I enough to pursue it? My script’s not done, not even half written I'm scared and unprepared; sometimes I think there’s no way It’s a magic trick being optimistic What do you do when you just wanna play guitar all day? Eternally hurdling, we emerge our future selves And hopefully you can get through it
2.
I started a diet last week It's going pretty well; I almost lost a pound I walk around the block for ten minutes every other day I should treat myself to a chocolate ice cream mound Just you wait, I'll lose the weight So, what's the harm in eating a pizza whole? My friends say I'm in denial But I've never been to Egypt So, what the hell do they mean? I must be getting thin, cause it says that I weigh zero pounds Wait, never mind, I just broke the scale I should jog, but I don't wanna, I'll do twice as much tomorrow For now, I've got this sheet cake I must inhale My shirts hug my skin; I'm just too big to fit Well, you've heard the old saying You'll get fatter before you get thin My friends say I'm in denial But I've never been to Egypt So, what the hell do they mean? Big, big, big, big Big, big, big, big bones My friends say I'm in denial But I've never been to Egypt Friends say I'm in denial But I've never been to Egypt So, what the hell do they mean?
3.
Take this unlucky bloke Take him to get his scrawny neck choked Hang him up on a rope Or better yet, slice it off for the folks CHOMPCHOMPCHOMP Says the guillotine, till it's full It gets fed twice a week On killers and fools A rusty blade, a bloody serenade I think that I smell a witch She's working for the devil, so let's throw the switch A headless body will twitch It's good entertainment for all the kids CHOMPCHOMPCHOMP Says the guillotine, till it's full It gets fed twice a week On killers and fools A rusty blade, a bloody serenade Soon you'll be lying dead All the people's shoes are covered in red You made it, now lie in your bed Every twice a week, come get some head CHOMPCHOMPCHOMP Says the guillotine, till it's full It gets fed twice a week On killers and fools A rusty blade, a bloody serenade
4.
Former Spine 02:41
Drunkenly tumbling through the sky Confetti poring through my former spine Light-headed and woozy, it bleeds me dry With this new diet, I’ve lost so much weight As my lids fall, I see a wet blade Somebody summons me to a light Sudden shudder rushing through my gushing mind Sight fluidly sooths me, I move inside With this new outfit, I feel so splendid Evolving the new me, I shed my old skin You’re justified to strike what you dislike down Lob atomic bombs till you drown out your doubt We’re aptly scared of the day we die Now you’re trapped down there and you gave me my ticket out
5.
After Hours 02:17
After hours, I see you I shiver outside as I wait You say, with a grin, that you won't let me in But you open the doors anyway Winter is here, my heart warms There's no one here but you and I A hot chocolate mug, my seasonal drug As the slow winter snow falls outside Year by year, I come by here But I'm far too shy to say why We talk all night under Christmas tree lights We watch Elf and quote every line My library card was revoked I've lived out of town since '05 But I'll still return, each and every winter To hear the stories you've told me a thousand times It's November twelfth, just two weeks I'll come by and check out a book I'll see you there and I'll pull up a chair And this time I am staying for good
6.
We met under some strange circumstances Is it any wonder we were getting all those sideways glances? I remember how those people stared in awe When they saw us walk together, you holding my hand in your claw So who cares if you've got six arms? Acidic spit, a head enlarged What makes us different is what makes us whole Just let them hate what they don't understand What we have is great, and that's all I ask In time they'll see that we're breaking the mold I don't care what they say I moved into your UFO Our love's banned in forty states My cardiac probe won't let me let you go I remember our first date on one warm spring night I ate a sandwich; you unhinged your jaw and ate a cat in one bite When I introduced you to my parents, they screamed They told me white should be with white, and green should only be with green They always said don't judge on race So why the change on your three-nosed face? No stinging sneer will ever beat us down Pay no attention to the ignorant ones Their narrow minds can't see through the dust Who are they to judge where love can be found? I don't care what they say I moved into your UFO today Our love's banned in forty states My cardiac probe won't let you go away
7.
Hey Jude 03:01
I've got this new roommate, he's kind of a jerk He drank all the coffee, now I'll be cranky all day at work His name is Jude, isn't it funny how that word rhymes with rude? Hey Jude, I gotta message for you: you suck I loaned him my iPhone, then he left it outside in the mud Every time he kills a hooker, I have to clean up the blood When I'm trying to sleep, he makes loud noises praising Satan by sacrificing sheep Hey Jude, I gotta message for you: you suck My friends won’t hang (they stay away) He freaks them out (scared by his face) With the swastika tattooed on his forehead (and his Stalin bed sheets) The odor from the den (awful stench) Of decomposing flesh (rotting dead) Is pretty damn annoying, but at least the dude is prompt when it comes to rent Hey Jude, still got a message for you: you suck
8.
Chasing Bats 03:45
If it’s not a dream, then I’m freaking out These lips are stained crimson and my skin is pale like a clown I fell into chemicals, my pigment was rearranged You made us a madman and I’m trapped inside our brain You’re killing for nothing now with a chilling laugh I'm telling you that I’m coming back Living in dreams, a good guy’s here past the Glasgow smile I’m in your subconscious, like the Red Hood’s in exile But soon I’m gonna get away You’re wasting your time, chasing bats just to try and look mean But overall, you’re just Ted Bundy with a stand-up routine I can’t forget Jeanie’s death, though it’s been years Got caught by the dark night, then in a moment I disappeared But now you’re the CEO and I’m a stooge I'm telling you that I’m breaking loose Living in dreams, a good guys here past the Glasgow smile I’m in your subconscious, like the Red Hood’s in exile But soon I’m gonna get away
9.
Jar of Worms 03:06
I'm out of luck, on top of the town I'm caught in the clutch of this beast, going down How did I let things get so far? Looks like I opened up a jar of worms Those shady dudes were eyeing me They told me that the drinks were free My eyelids weighed down with each sip I woke up sometime later, I felt thin Saw my reflection in a river, yellow skin How can I live like this? I guess I won't live long There's giant ape and he's coming my way He's looking to get some lunch Life sucks as a banana A hungry monkey tears down trees Chasing at the fruit he wants to eat, I'm screwed A helicopter drags me fast With a harness I'm attached On the bright side, now I'm full of potassium I wonder what will happen if I'm detached Will they let me get chomped on or change me back? How can I live like this? I guess I won't live long There's a giant ape and he's coming my way He's looking to get some lunch Life sucks as a banana Get him to the zoo Get him to the zoo How can I live like this? I guess I won't live long There's giant ape and he's coming my way He's looking to get some lunch Life sucks as a banana I’m out of luck on top of the town I’m caught in the clutch of this beast, going down
10.
It's four a.m. and your eyes are open wide You try to fall asleep, but you can't the more you try Your eyes are locked in place and you're fighting with your mind I'll be a bad night's rest for you You're being buried alive, and the dirt is made of clothe Pajamas are a straight jacket, pillow's made of rock You twist and turn and jerk around to try and find the spot I'll be a bad night's rest for you Everybody's telling you goodnight But the hourglass's sand won't pass And the bed bugs will bite Everything's a blur; don't know what's what anymore Living out real life is such a bore The television screen is burning in your head You don't give a fuck what celebrities are dead The sheets are itching like daggers in your bed I'll be a bad night's rest for you Everybody's telling you goodnight But the hourglass's sand won't pass And the bed bugs will bite Everything's a blur; don't know what's what anymore Living out real life is such a bore Now it's six a.m. and your eyes are red and drained The sun makes a slinking entrance in your window pane There's a loud screech which means it’s time to face the day I've been a bad night's rest for you
11.
Amberline 03:22
English class, a thousand hands I give a glance, you take a chance, you're wrong You blush with pride, at least you tried You hide your eyes, escape the snide remarks You say you'll never leave this town If that's the case then I'll stay put Cause even here is good when you're around The doctor's here, we're rife with fear He says the thing we're most afraid to hear We'll get through, we always do I'm trying to convince me more than you I know that times look bleak But it's the best of us that brave the weight When things seem incomplete A fleeting beat, the prompter beeps Then like a shriek, it echoes without pause My eyes deceive, I can't believe There's no relief, my stomach's in a knot But I'll calm down real soon I'm eighty-five, there's not much time Till I'll be seeing you
12.
My name is 3.14160 You might have heard of my brother His name is π Everybody is so damn proud of him They say he's a constant While I'm constantly high He gets all the glory They think I am boring I'm over shined He'll help you do geometry They're not so fond of me He's in his prime My parents two and three They barely even notice me I'm still living with them While my brother bathes in his success I dropped out of school I'm a deadbeat decimal Every Christmas, π got more presents than me They thought he was special, I disagree They're so impressed by how he can find the ratio of a circle’s circumference Well, I can balance a spoon on my nose He gets all the revelry I'm stuck in obscurity I'm left behind But if I ever need some fast cash I've got a tape of a half-naked dance He did when he was 5 (black-mail, home boy) My parents two and three They barely even notice me I'm still living with them While my brother bathes in his success I dropped out of school I'm a deadbeat decimal
13.
Everyday I'm reminded I was just a fad Cause now I'm stuck in a box, next to your outdated crap Every now and then I get to feeling betrayed You wouldn't treat your other pets this way I remember my life before I went to the store I used to live in a yard, I always felt so ignored But then you bought me and one week later set me aside I'm so petrified But I don't want to be some stupid geode You can just string along You probably think I'm an ignorant igneous Well, you're wrong Now I'm just sitting here, I'm collecting dust Into the darkness I stare, with no illusion of trust You made it clear that you never wanted me My sediments exactly I've tried to escape from this cardboard cage But it’s hard to pull off without an arm or a leg I hope that someday you’ll see, you’ll say you’re sorry you lied Not an impulsive buy But in twenty years you'll get nostalgic And I'm the key to your past And in a dwindling moment we're united It won't last Now I'm just sitting here, I'm collecting dust Into the darkness I stare, with no illusion of trust You made it clear that you never wanted me My sediments exactly I know you love your iPod and Droid phone But where will they be in ten years? They're gonna be in the garage with me
14.
The Janitor 02:30
I am the janitor, watch me fly Spent my whole life in fumes, then I got high For twenty years I conquered a mountain of puke So I'll trade in this one-piece for a diving suit My body's burning as I look at the sky The kids stare up Ten stories to the nearest goodbye Paint an S on my chest and watch me glide I am the janitor on the roof Invisible skeleton who cleans the rooms We appreciate you I am the janitor, wind in hair My broom will elevate me through the muddy air I place the stick between my legs and take a step You'll need a wet floor sign when you clean my mess My clothes are flailing as I pass every floor The staff stands still I'll have to take a sick day tomorrow for sure Paint an S on my chest and watch me soar I am the janitor on the roof Invisible skeleton who cleans the rooms We appreciate you
15.
My Almost Me 03:02
Fall out of bed, quickly heading to relief inside the porcelain Eye slits, weak grip, I hit the rim and dispose of all the evidence My twin image reflects a dude with a slightly shorter hair cut What's this difference? I ponder this as my eyes begin to slam shut The guy that's staring back has a difference Cause he's not from my reality That's not me in the glass and I'm listless It's an existence that's beyond what we Can detect as us and what's not us And it lines up almost perfectly Except for the haircut, it's just like symmetry We chat, he brags, he never got beat up by Jimmy Grant in High School I'm broke, he's stoked, he’s got a pension and a mansion with a swimming pool That girl I liked, it turns out she’s kicking it at his pad He gloats, I sulk, my almost me is a bit of a douchebag The guy that's staring back has a difference Cause he's not from my reality That's not me in the glass and I'm listless It's an existence that's beyond what we Can detect as us and what's not us And it lines up almost perfectly Except for the lameness, it's just like symmetry
16.
They gave me the tour Digging deep into Steve’s tumor A million micro-surgeons searching in every inch Cause cancer’s a son of a bitch The room expanded before my eyes Was 1/1,000,000th of my normal size It’s like D-Day, if the beach is your brain And the Nazi’s the throbbing pain Cause science finally found the means to remedy our ills It’s a great time to be alive, if you don’t look at your bills As long as you don’t mind a little genocide inside We’ll make those nasty buggers wish they’d die, we’ll comply Tissue fills my fist The parasitic wretch resists It insists we coexist but this is one iffy pitch I see the slime climbing up my wrist Once we break for lunch We form a line across the tongue Soldiers in a war endured right under your hair Grey matter guerilla warfare Cause science finally found the means to remedy our ills It’s a great time to be alive, if you don’t look at your bills As long as you don’t mind a little genocide inside We’ll make those nasty buggers wish they’d die, we’ll comply

about

Smashy Claw's 2013 debut record. I'm not super proud of most of this now, but it was a giant leap forward from everything that came before. The first professionally produced all-original studio album.

Despite going to the same high school for four years and being in the same social circles while attending that high school, I didn't properly meet Nathan Long until we graduated. We were at a mutual friend's New Years party when he started playing an original tune on the friend's parent's keyboard. I was intrigued.

Having just quit the whole Odd Austin thing, I was keen to find other musicians to forge something new with. I suggested we get together at my place, which we did the following week. And the rest is even lower-tiered music history than when I met Jace.

credits

released October 22, 2013

Austin Ash Lemon - vocals, guitar, bass
Nathan Long - vocals, keys, guitar
Dave Frey - drums (4, 16)
Andrew Serr - drums (1-3, 5-15)

Produced by Austin Ash Lemon
Mixed by Andrew Serr
Mastered by Jeff Merkel

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Smashy Claw Longmont, Colorado

2011 - 2018

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